10 ways to lead better GriefShare discussions in 2017 pt. 1
By Meredith Geldmeier
It’s a new year, and new GriefShare groups are beginning. Even if you’re not one for making personal resolutions each January, we hope you have at least one goal: to increase your effectiveness as a GriefShare group leader in 2017.
Whether you’re a returning GriefShare group leader or a brand-new one, we want to provide you with support, reminders, and encouragement for meeting this goal, and for getting your group off to a great start this year!
Facilitating good discussions is key to the success of your group; your group members can truly heal and grow as they have the opportunity to be heard and loved and to learn from others.
Here are some helpful tips for leading effective discussions:
1. Involve all the group members in the discussion.
Your group should be driven mainly by the group members and group discussion. The more each person becomes involved in discussing the video and sharing personal experiences, the more he or she will heal. Reach out to each person; do your best to make sure that everyone feels included and has an equal opportunity to share.
2. Remember, you’re a facilitator, not a teacher!
If you view your role as a facilitator and not as a teacher, you’ll avoid falling into the teaching role and dominating the discussion.
3. Listen!
Your job as a group leader is mainly to keep the conversation flowing. There is, of course, a place for sharing your experiences, but keep your talk time short so others have time to open up to the group. These members have joined your group so they will be able to share with others what they are feeling and what is going on in their lives; the more involved everyone is, the more the group will benefit.
4. Get comfortable with silence.
Maybe no one is talking, and the silence feels awkward to you. But silence encourages people to gather their thoughts, and that very awkwardness may prompt someone else to speak up! Allowing silence is part of creating an environment with space for people to share.
5. Choose great questions.
Review the questions provided for you in your Leader’s Guide. There will likely be more questions than your group can get through in a typical session, so choose the questions you feel best suit the needs and personality of your group.
6. Review your group guidelines ahead of time with group members.
This provides a gentle reminder to everyone of the importance of letting others speak. A general list of group guidelines is provided in each GriefShare workbook. If you’d like to customize a list of guidelines for your group, visit the GriefShare LeaderZone for suggestions! Frequent reminders of the guidelines will help everyone get a chance to speak and feel involved with the group.
7. Don’t allow individuals to dominate the discussion.
Direct a question to another group member: You may need to gently take control of the discussion if a group member starts to monopolize the time. One effective technique for dealing with someone who is dominating the discussion is for you to direct a question to another group member.
Don’t be afraid to interrupt if necessary: Sometimes, you’ll just need to interrupt. If someone is going on too long, you can gently interrupt by saying something like, “John, I hate to interrupt, but I’d like to get a few others to respond before we move on to the next question.” Or you could say, “John, for the sake of time, I need to ask you to hold that thought so we can move on to the next question.”
Speak with the group member privately: You may need to take someone aside to speak privately before or after a group meeting. Be diplomatic but honest, and make the person aware of the issue, asking him or her to be considerate of other group members.
Coming up in part 2: Dealing with challenging situations
You’ll also encounter challenging situations as a group leader. In part 2 of this blog post, we’ll discuss three of the most challenging situations you may face as a leader and how to handle them.
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Comments
First Southern Baptist Church
Colorado Springs, CO
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Thank you for these valuable reminders.
First Baptist Cumming
Cumming, GA
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"grieving with hope" is a great resource to help improve discussions. It helps enhance my understanding of the videos and the study guide (workbook).
First Christian Church
Sullivan, IL
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Giving members "wait time" is so important. Thanks for the reminders list.
Dauphin First Baptist Church
Dauphin, MB
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We begin our first group on March 23. I would appreciate your prayers. This is my first time leading this kind of group .
Trinity Christian Fellowship
Pinehurst, NC
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We are beginning our third group in our newly constructed Church on March 9th.
Ongoing prayers for our leaders is critical to the success of this ministry.
Please continue to pray for us.
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Learning to allow silence.. to wait...wait ...wait was the most difficult for me to learn I'm seeing how the silence does it's magic.. So now it has made it much easier for me to do just that.
Personally: Grief Share gave me back my will to live.. after I lost my Bill after 50 years!
Nittany Baptist Church
State College, PA
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Our church will host our first GriefShare meeting on March 29, prayers appreciated. The materials and videos look great !! Thanks for all you folks have done and do !!
Church at the Cross
Orlando, FL
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These reminders are great to keep the group flowing with discussion and provide opportunity for leaders to grow as supporter that encourage others.
Covington Community Church
Covington, WA
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It will feel good to give back to a program that works went facilitated /followed correctly, I am looking forward to doing what God would want me to do by helping others in grief, we start our first group April 11, prayers requested, as we will remember you too
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Thank you for these posts. We are starting our first session on March 22nd. Our leader team is excited and ready! Prayers will help us stay focused and help our members in this journey. I know GriefShare has provided me coping skills through multiple losses. I am excited to be offering this ministry to others on the Grief Journey. Blessings and prayers for all of you starting sessions this spring.
Mid Valley Community Church
Woodburn, OR
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Thanks for the post. I soon will start co-facilitating my first GriefShare group so am looking for all the suggestions I can get. I would ask for prayer for myself, my co-facilitator, and for those who will be coming to the group. Thank you in advance.
Kingwood Church
Alabaster, AL
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Thank you so much for your helpful posts. We are going into our 7th year as a facilitator at our church. God has been so good to us through the years. Hopefully, many people have been helped through this program. Thanks so much for this wonderful program.
First Baptist Cumming
Cumming, GA
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Use subtitles and read "grieving with hope", a great griefshare resource for leaders.
Also, remind participants about griefshare.org/children; it can help us talk to children and grandchildren.
And, be sure to plan to use "SURVINGING The HOLIDAYS". We opened that session to everyone.
Clifford Baptist Church
Amherst, VA
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We had our first GriefShare last Monday and will have our second meeting tonight. There were 5 participants with hope of more attending tonight.
We greatly appreciate all of the prayers we received.
I remember the old saying, " silence is golden" when those quiet moments come!
Statesboro Primitive Baptist Church
Statesboro, GA
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We are beginning our first GriefShare ever at our church
tonight, April 17, 2017. My husband and I will be facilitating. Prayers would be appreciated!!! So many are in need of this in our church and community.
Shadow Hills Baptist Church
Las Vegas, NV
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We have found the a second session is so valuable in the health of the Grief process. Many have wanted to repeat the class and some have decide to co-facilitate (PTL). Prayers and healing for the hurting.
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Thankyou for all your input. Pray for me. I am just starting out on this leap of faith driven by the HOLY SPIRIT.. With your support I know I can do this for HIS NAME SAKE AMEN
Visitation Roman Catholic Church
Brick, NJ
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Thank you so much for the opportunity to facilitate, it has been a wonderful experience and when our group experiences breakthroughs, you know we have made a difference.
Visitation Roman Catholic Church
Brick, NJ
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This info. Is valuable especially when it indicates we are not teachers, can't teach grief. This is my most rewarding ministry. It is always so wonderful to see break through. Thank you
Springfield Baptist Church
Jakin, GA
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My biggest temptation is to teach, so I have to remind myself before each session that my role is facilitator and not the teacher. I have found that my group responded best when I shared with them first. I also found that if I poked gentle, self-effacing humor at my own experiences it tended to relieve the tension and they would become more relaxed and more responsive. I am not necessarily recommending that approach, just sharing that it worked for my particular group. Just keep asking God to show you how to reach your people, and God bless you for caring for those who are in so much pain. GriefShare is a wonderful program and it was such a blessing to see my group making progress in their grief journey from one week to another. I can't wait for our next course which will start August 7!
Aletheia Church
Cambridge, MA
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Please pray for my group. This is our fist time meeting to discuss this topic. Thinks for the valuable Griefshare discussion points. They gave me great ideas as I begin my program. Silence is an uncomfortable way of communication for me, but thinks making it clear for me.