Day 250 - Self-Pity
One of the challenges of healing from loss is figuring out what your life will look like without your loved one. And it’s possible to slow your healing progression by some of your responses to the loss. One such response is self-pity.
Self-pity might not be obvious because it’s similar to grief: With both, there is a focus on what you want. So how do you recognize self-pity? Self-pity is a lingering preoccupation with your hardship that prevents you from seeing beyond it. You might experience:
- An unwillingness to talk about anything but the hardship.
- A growing, deepening sense of despair.
- An expectation that others will cater to what you want.
One way to keep self-pity from taking hold of your heart is to think about how you might reach out to others for help, but with these two goals:
Goal 1: Find out how others who’ve experienced a similar loss have managed the adjustments they’ve had to make. You could ask for practical suggestions they might have based on their experience.
Goal 2: Think about how you might contribute to the lives of other people you regularly interact with. Consider, how could you encourage someone through a hard time? How might you use the skills and talents you’ve developed to bless them? As you do this, you’ll discover the truth of something Solomon wrote a long time ago:
“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:25).
Lord, as I continue my grief journey, help me see any obstacles I might put in my way. If I start to pity myself, make that clear to me. And give me opportunities to reach out to others. Amen.